A note from Dave

335707_2671230140867_1259540090_3102704_780257014_oMy struggle with addiction started with headaches.

I had my first migraine headache when I was about 20 years old.  The pain was awful… nausea, blinding pain behind the left eye. I wondered if I had a tumor or an aneurism. They would hit at the most inopportune times and out of the blue. Everything would need to stop while I lay in a dark room.

Eventually I visited a doctor. It was a relief to find that the pain had a name: migraine. It was even more of a relief to find that I could take something to help. While Excedrin and Advil would not work nearly as well as the commercials claimed, these new pills did the trick: Vicodin, Lortab and eventually Ultram, all held the pain at bay and made me feel great.

The problems came over the next several years as I came to depend on these pills to deal with other pain and any difficulty in life. I felt in complete control with just a pill. I could feel great no matter what the circumstances of life.

Of course, the irony is that I soon became completely out of control.

What once removed pain brought infinitely more pain: Lies to almost everyone around me. Unnecessary financial stress. Job loss.  Loss of ministry. Loss of respect. Loss of the innocent joy of my children. Loss of direction.

However, I was not lost to God.  “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (the Bible, Romans 5:8) At my furthest from who I should have been, He loved me as much as at my best. I don’t understand it and I don’t deserve it.

It does not seem enough to say to anyone who is struggling with addiction, “there is Hope.” But there is!

I am forgiven and loved. My wife (the author of this blog) is still with me. My children are still here and I have been blessed with the opportunity to actually see God use my failure to help people in addiction and crisis.

I will contribute more of my story as Deb writes the blog, but for now I just say There is Hope because of a loving God.

 

Dave

10 thoughts on “A note from Dave

  1. Deb is a beautiful writer/mother/wife/sister-in-law! Thank you both for sharing – bearing witness to? – your real true intimate personal gospel. And to me it is a gospel! Love you guys!

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  2. Hi Dave, Just learned about the struggle you’ve been going through and my heart aches for what all you’ve been through…We just learned that my nieces’ daughter(21) has found herself addicted to a pain killer, too. She stole from the company she was working for and lost her job and the story gets more painful each day. She is now in a 30 days rehab program in Kirkland… Thank you and Deb for sharing your story.. You’re on our hearts now and on our prayer list.. Love, Mae & Doyle Boyington

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    1. Mae, thank-you for your understanding and honestly. The reality is that recovery is only possible though God’s love for us. However, His love is most often expressed by the kind, humble and honest love of His people.
      Praying for you.
      Dave

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  3. I’m so glad I found your wife’s blog and thank you for sharing some very personal parts of your life. I too am in recovery and did not deserve anything from God or anyone else for that matter. God’s grace and love are so beyond what my little brain can wrap around and I just love Him more and more everyday. Praise God for you Dave and your testimony. I just started my blog a few weeks ago because I feel the Lord has been leading me to help others & to show others His marvelous power & glory by my new life in Christ. Both you and Deb will be a source of strength for me as I follow your posts!

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  4. Dave and Deb,
    Thanks for your honesty in your struggles, for it exalts God and His grace! Back in high school, we used to laugh and joke about the Beddoe cave, the icicles that were found because of the air conditioner’s constant use. Reading through your blog, it doesn’t seem that funny anymore. I’ve always had a lot of respect for the both of you; I still find myself saying ‘Beddoeisms’ like “hip with the teens” and “that goes there” (and so many times greatly wanting to use the “Mark Spansel, you may not be the smartest or best looking guy in the room … I just wanted to say that”). But reading and finding more about your life beyond the humor, I find my respect for you increased all the more. I can relate to you better, because you’re not perfect people, and neither are we. I have different struggles, but I know well the road you’re traveling – the pain, the failure, the hoplessness, the grace, the forgiveness, the return to sin, and the return to grace. My time on your blog has been very encouraging and edifying. Thank you!

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  5. Wow, Dave…thanks for your willingness to be so open and transparent. Let me know if there is ever any way that I can be of help or encouragement to you….

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