“All the voices calling out to me”

Moms do a lot of driving. There've been days when I've put a hundred miles on the car even though most of my trips are only a few miles. School, the other school, and then the next one, work, the store, the other store that has the thing I couldn' t find at the first …

“Fix it ’til it’s broke”

People are the way they are for a reason. I took a test a few weeks ago. The kind I love -- asking lots of questions about me. The is called Strengthsfinder. And I'm completely fascinated by it. I do realize we aren't all the same. But when I saw the results of the test, my …

The way we wash our clothes

I don't know what it is in some of us that makes us think proper theology is the answer to all of life's problems. Like somehow, just by having the correct view of God, our troubles will dissipate. I was reminded of this last night, sitting with a group of beautiful Christian women whose lives …

Insanity

At the deepest level, one addiction is the same as another. Sugar, caffeine, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs. The more you have, the more you want. All have the potential to be habit forming. But they don't all have the same price tag. Unlike some other addictions, the signs of over-using tramadol aren't immediately obvious. There was …

The fine line between belief and denial

It's incredible to me, when I read through my volumes of journals knowing what I know now. . . . . . how is it possible that I could have been so very, very blind? Maybe I was distracted. By the time Dave went to rehab, I'd been raising babies for a decade. Four kids …

The joy of pie

Counting your blessings is a huge part of recovery.  Looking at my life to see the good that's come from the bad -- or in spite of it -- keeps me from wallowing in the past that I can't change. This seventh post seems like a good spot to take a rest and a deep …

Another June

"You're not nothin'. You are not nothin'. You're a good man, and God has given you a second chance to make things right, John. This is your chance, honey." - June Carter, Walk the Line It's difficult to explain believing. If I tell you that one of the reasons I did not leave Dave back then was …

The friend at the end of my rope

There are a million trails to take with this blog . . . it's been a 20 year journey: through migraines, through addiction, through healing. Yesterday, as I prayed and pondered what might be most helpful right now, I opened my journal from the year I've been writing about. We'd moved to Washington in the …

Maybe it’s me

There are days, weeks, months and even years in our history that are still difficult to talk about. Even last night, enjoying a lovely and rare meal out, discussing the blog -- we both have a hard time talking about certain memories. It's so unlike our life today. Sometimes it seems like a foggy nightmare. …