Late Night Post
#15 #13 . . . apparently I missed a few?
My clock is all messed up. I’m usually an early-rising morning writer. But that’s back when I would write and not actually post what I’d written for days.
And now I’ve resorted to a what am I doing post.
And that’s because you can only stay up way past your bedtime so many nights in a row before it all catches up with you.
When you run around like a chicken with its head cut off, eventually you’ll keel over. Yeah, you get the picture.
It’s a fact.
So I’m setting aside my more serious posts about toddlers & teenagers, letting go of the past but the past not letting go of you, commitment to prayer, etc. to give you some marvelous tips.
Note: these are totally off the top of my head. I’m sure I have a longer list if I could find where I put it. (Also note: I don’t want to mislead you, I didn’t just learn these this week . . . I’ve been perfecting these tricks for years and years. )
*pause while I worry about smelling burning toast and then realize it’s because I AM burning toast*
My incomplete list of shortcuts you learn when you’re always in a hurry
(BTW, I usually know the fastest way to get anywhere. Not because I’m so smart, either.)
Lay out your clothes the night before. Dryer Roulette: wrinkled shirt, damp towel, toss in dryer for however long it takes to brush your teeth. Tada! (Also, I’m pretty sure the invention of polyester around the time women entered the workforce in droves is not a coincidence.)
2. Embrace the curl: Got crazy, wild hair like me? Don’t fight it — let your wavy curls air dry. My stylist — whom I last saw about eight months ago, let’s be honest here — gave me some hair clips to help boost volume and I make finger ringlets to help encourage the curl whilst I am driving. Not something I would ever have done left to my own devices. (This one is actual, legit advice.)
But that’s not the amazing thing! The amazing thing is, if I crank the heat in my car up to 85 and point the air vents just so, I can dry my hair just enough in the car on the way to work. It’s like my whole car turns into a giant hair dryer for 15 minutes.
3. Hot rollers can double as a curling iron in a pinch. Don’t know why I always end up with just 15 minutes to get ready to go someplace fancy, but I do. And sometimes the fancy place is on the other side of the water, so I get to get ready in the ferry bathroom — which has way better lighting and mirrors than my bathroom at home, frankly. Only I usually forget something . . . last time, I was short on the deely-bobs that hold the hot rollers on your head. So I used my hands . . . Note: recommended ONLY in a pinch.
4. Office supplies can double as make-up: I once witnessed a co-worker using a Sharpie as mascara on a day when she’d forgotten to put on make-up. I was in my 30’s at the time and was appalled because why would you ever need mascara that badly? Yep. She was in her 40’s. I get it now. Without mascara, there are no eyelashes.
5. Selfies are perfect for checking lipstick application: Since I almost never use a mirror for something as easy as lipstick anymore, it’s always good to check before you walk into a work meeting. Also . . . booger check.
6. If you keep telling yourself Downy Wrinkle Reducer is body spray, eventually you’ll believe it. It started as a skip-the-dryer-roulette and just spray the shirt it when it’s on your body. In the 20 minutes it takes for you to drive to work, the wrinkles will relax, right? But also, it smells kind of nice. Not perfume nice, but like dryer sheet nice. And then I ran out of perfume . . .
7. Change the blog post title to 6 Short Cuts instead of 7 and get yourself to bed before midnight: Because you seriously need more time for an actual beauty routine.
Just Livin’ the Season, people. Livin’ the season . . .